Impulsive Writing (15)

News Flash! SUV Gives Birth To Twins

It’s got a windshield, steering wheel, tires…what more could you want?

“Well, how about profitability?”

“Sorry man, at a starting price of around $2,000 they had to leave that out, along with the power windows.”

“So…I guess they must use mainly volunteer labor?”

“Yeah, mostly.”

“Then how’s this going to become the ‘blueprint’ for the car of the future?”

“Well, it starts at the grassroots level…beginning with your local church. You see, everyone’s got to pitch in. Get on board, so to speak, and do some serious praying…”

“Come on, cut the crap. I’m serious. I mean it’s exactly the kind of thing we should be doing here. So why aren’t we?”

“That’s the multi-billion dollar question. For all the money we’ve recently dumped into the GM/Chrysler black hole, we could have bought around seven million of these Tata Nanos.”

“You’re kidding me!”

“Of course I am. After all, who would want seven million of these little fuel-efficient things running around, when you could pocket a worthless 17.4 billion dollar I.O.U. instead?”

“You’re sick.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Spend too much time trying to be logical I guess. Maybe I’ll give up math and take up drinking. I think that’s the formula the Romans used…”

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Impulsive Writing (14)

His office was on the third floor of a two story building. At least that’s the way it felt sometimes. Like last night, for example, as he jumped from the chopper and ran for the trees about fifty feet away. Within a minute the chopper had disappeared into the night sky, and he was approaching the highway on the other side of the trees.

Within three minutes a car slowed down and stopped about 30 feet away. The passenger door opened slightly, a small package was tossed out, and the car quickly pulled away. As soon as it was out of sight, he retrieved the package and checked its contents: cell phone, passport, a sizable roll of local currency, and a phone number. He called the number, then hung up after the first ring.

Twenty minutes later a small van approached, pulled over at the same spot, and flashed its lights. He moved from the trees to the back of the van and climbed in. About an hour later the van pulled over and stopped. The driver tapped on the partition separating them, signaling that it was clear to go. He got out, looked around, then quickly walked across the street and entered the lobby of the Maxima hotel.

It was deserted. He walked over to the check-in counter, paused for a moment, then pushed the plunger on the “Ring For Service” bell. He liked the symbolism. What better way to announce that the first round of this convoluted assignment was about to begin…

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Impulsive Writing (13)

How to get rid of that buzzing in your ear.

“So what did you think of the article?”

“To tell you the truth, I thought it was pretty limp. But I loved the graphic.”

“Yeah, me too. At least it suggests a permanent cure. Which is a lot more than I can say about anything else I could find on the subject.”

“I know what you mean. I remember a friend of mine had that problem. It was driving her crazy. She tried everything. Even that holistic ‘candling’ technique you mentioned in the article. But nothing worked. After about a year she just couldn’t take it anymore and OD’d on sleeping pills.”

“Ok. That’s enough. I really don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“So…what do you want to do?’”

“I don’t know. The music’s pretty good. You want to dance?”

“Sure, why not…”

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