Tata Nano

News Flash! Pregnant SUV Gives Birth To Twins

Tata Nano Twins

It’s got a windshield, steering wheel, tires…what more could you want?

“Well, how about profitability?”

“Sorry man, at a starting price of around $2,000 they had to leave that out, along with the power windows.”

“So…I guess they must use mainly volunteer labor to build them?”

“Yeah, mostly.”

“Then how’s this going to become the ‘blueprint’ for the car of the future?”

“Well, it starts at the grassroots level…beginning with your local church. You see, everyone’s got to pitch in. Get on board, so to speak, and do some serious praying…”

“Come on, cut the crap. I’m serious. I mean it’s exactly the kind of thing we should be doing here. So why aren’t we?”

“That’s the multi-billion dollar question. For all that money we dumped into the GM/Chrysler black hole a few years ago, we could have bought around seven million of these Tata Nanos instead.”

“You’re kidding me!”

“Of course I am. After all, who would want seven million of these little fuel-efficient things running around, when you could pocket a worthless 17.4 billion dollar I.O.U. instead?”

“You’re sick.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Spend too much time trying to be logical I guess. Maybe I’ll give up math and take up drinking. I think that’s the formula the Romans used…”

Tata Nano Car

[This is a copy of a piece I posted a few years ago as Impulsive Writing (15)]

Miss Interpretation

Browsing-For-Laughs_Dog-Driving-Car

Yesterday afternoon when I was out walking with my girlfriend I let go of her arm briefly to grab my iPhone and take this photo. She got really mad, walked away and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. I still can’t figure out what her problem was…I mean, how often do you have a chance to take a picture of a dog driving a car?

Nonsense Verse (05)

Anastasia_Easel-Card

The Perfect Pill

I don’t know,
But if I had
Some beans to sow,
I’d be grateful for
Those beans to grow.

But on the other hand,
If I were member of a band,
I’d wish to have a
Tiny flute to blow.

And what about you?
What would you do
If you had a magic wand,
Or a wishing pond?
Would the Nymph respond
To your request to
Put an end to snow?

And that’s when the Snowman said,
“Hey, wait a minute, do you want
to see me dead?”

To which you replied,
“Who gives a damn if
you live or die?”

“I do!” said the Shrew.
As he unbuckled and
Threw his shoe at you,
While smiling at the sky.

And upon seeing that,
Edward Lear did tip his hat,
And was heard to say,
From a place far away,
“I wish I’d thought of that!”

* * *

The above composed on the fly,
by my (then 9yo) daughter and I,
To help ease the pain in her head,
And replace her migraine instead
With some silly pie from the sky.